|Posted by annadreambig on December 20, 2014 at 11:25 PM|
50 days since I started my comedy hiatus and I've only broken it a few times. Twice at an open mic that I used to run because I just couldn't stand by idly while comics drowned in their own insecurities in front of a live audience. I had to drown with them. But I learned my lesson. The host took a picture of me and posted it on social media with the quote, "I'm on hiatus." Yes, I'm a hypocrite. But really I'm an addict. I stopped doing it though. I just have to get there after they start so I'm not tempted or just not go at all. I shouldn't be breaking my break for a freaking open mic. That's like sucking dick for a cigarette or a cup of coffee. You really should only compromise yourself for Crack or a Brazilian steakhouse buffet that costs $50 per person (shout out to Texas de Brazil). Not something you can probably get for free from every third person you ask. I broke my hiatus and all I got was humiliation, not even a t-shirt. Can I tell you a secret though? I kinda like being humiliated every now and then. It feels like validation of my self perception. I don't mean that in a pitiful way though; I mean that in a "I like to laugh... at myself" kinda way. That's not about humility for me. I think if you have to tell people you're humble you're probably not. You probably just made that your thing, your hook, your tagline so people would still pay attention, because being conceited didn't work for you. (Who really could do it better than Kanye right? )
This time away from comedy was supposed to be relaxing and productive but it was none of those things. I had a lot of anxiety. I was too busy to write or too distracted. And then I got really comfortable not doing comedy and it scared me a little. I don't think I will continue with this experiment. I mean comedy is addictive, but it's not illegal. It's not heroin. I should focus on quitting smoking or eating unhealthy before I try to get rid of the one thing that made me happy in the past decade. But I don't think I would have figured that out without taking a step back so all in all, it was worth it.